This is a last minute post, because recent events make me feel like I have to make somethings clear.

I’m talking about nothing more than, WHY am I doing I Just Wanna be Strong. If you haven’t read my previous post, TL:DR, this game inception was when I was on the mental hospital, my doctors feel like having a creative output will be extremely therapeutic, and to be honest, it’s been. However there is a problem with the game, a problem that I’ve feared since day one.

IJWBS, it’s an autobiographical game. A story taking place on the last year+ of my life. And this supposes a problem, a problem with any autobiographical media if you think about it. There are people who don’t want to be part of the story. people who obviously played (and still) the role of antagonist on my life. Unfortunately I cannot make big promises. But hear me out.

I’ve moved a lot of people IRL to make this game be possible, from going to multiple hospitals, prisons, interviewed several mental health experts, this is more than a passion project, this is the project that will rebuild my life. But what good is a life built back from spite?

It is as much on my interest that this game isn’t a revenge game, as anyone’s else who was at some point involved in my life. This is why I have not one, not two, not three. but FOUR mental health experts who will continuously supervise any creative decision in order to prevent me from straying apart from my original vision. It is on the best interest for everyone that this game tells an objective point of view, and those of you who know me personally, know that I’m more leaning towards self criticism than anything else.

But IJWBS isn’t a game about me being depressed for a year. IJWBS isn’t a game about what is like to do hard drugs and struggle with schizophrenia. I just wanna be strong is self descriptive. It’s a continuous process of me becoming a strong person. And I will tell this story through Diego, my video-game’s persona.

This project is a self exploration of what strength means to me. It is a proof that all my tears and blood shed over the last year weren’t wasted, it is a testament that I could, can and will become a stronger person.

So far all the “concept” art I’ve done for the game are nothing but 1 hour long sketches exploring different aspects of fear. But as previously stated, the game isn’t about me being depressed. The game is about me being strong. And in order to demonstrate this I’ll be working more on conceptualizing the strong aspects of Diego.

Categories: Blog

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